Teaching versus Performing

I have the great privilege to be a teacher. It is my responsibility to give my students an holistic approach to becoming the best singer/performer/interpreter of music they can be. I take my job very seriously! Whenever I doubt my ability as a teacher, affirmation pours in from students (old and new), colleagues and industry peeps. The Vivacious Voice students have been a great source of affirmation recently - which I needed this week especially....

Chatting to one of the Vivacious Voice girls today reminded me of a chat I had with my brother a few years ago. Four years ago, I was a full-time freelance performer. I had just completed a run of my biggest break (A Handful of Keys) and things were looking up for me as a performer. The phone call from the Waterfront Theatre School arrived at that time. Needless to say, I accepted the job. My eldest brother then drove to my house to discuss this with me. He told me that I was compromising: that I was the best performer he had ever seen and that I was giving up. Problem was, I missed teaching....

At the beginning of the year, I was suffering from headaches and a slight depression. Teaching was getting to be too hectic and I wanted to perform. So I wrote my first solo show: My Grand (ma se) Piano. Preparing for this show around my hectic schedule was K@K difficult! I hated the process and despised myself for doing something as stupid as a SOLO SHOW! Self-doubt is a terrible thing. The headaches were then joined by backache, asthma, colds and flu, verrucas, pimples! The night before opening, I considered cancelling the whole thing altogether! Thanks to Paul, Aine, Cheri and Robyn for the help that night.

The strangest thing happened. Once I was running at the Grahamstown Festival (2 differnet runs simultaneously!), all the aches disappeared..... I felt healthier than I had in years. How K@K was that! When I performed I was sick because I wanted to teach, and when I taught I was sick because I wanted to perform... So what now?

I want it all! And I'm gonna have it....

I need to teach: I need the special relationship I have with each and every student. I love them all dearly (sorry if that freaks out the straight [what's that???] guys). I need to perform: I LOVE the limelight, though I pretend it's not that important to me.

At the moment I have a happy medium. It gets a bit hectic sometimes, but I love it.

So stop worrying WTS peeps, I'm very happy right where I am! My favourite qoute is the title of my blog. My second favourite: If you continue doing what it is you were born to do, success will find you! Now if only my money angel could find me already......