On Saturday 5th July, my brother Lester celebrated his 40th birthday in heaven. It's his 9th birthday without us already. It gets more and more difficult each year. But this was a big one, and I wanted to do something special on the day. I was booked for a gig, and took a few mins in my set to play a tribute to him. I made sure my parents attended the gig: I was going to ensure that we did not forget. Little did I know.....
It all started about a month or two ago, when my mom was admitted to hospital. We went to see her, and I was torn apart when I saw the condition she was in. The reality of our mortality REALLY affected me that day. That night I just fell apart emotionally. I couldn't stop thinking about how helpless she looked in hospital. Among many other things, I told Shaun that I wanted us to consider having a smaller wedding sooner. We had spoken to our parents about the possibility of a December 2015 wedding, and Shaun's mom had already started choosing the table settings. I told him that if something happened to my parents before we got married, I would never forgive myself. My mom got worse in hospital, and by the end of the week I was sick with worry.
That was when Shaun phoned his mother. He told her his wishes, and they started to make it happen. First thing was to ask for my parents' permission. He went to them, asked for permission to marry, and asked my dad to preside at the ceremony. My dad is a retired priest. He got their blessing, and my dad agreed. He also asked them if they thought it would be okay for us to get married on Lester's 40th birthday (I'm in tears again). They thought it would be an excellent idea.
Over the next month and a half, rings were made, restaurants and hotels were visited, a guesthouse function venue was booked, our brothers and their families were invited, decor was planned, co-conspirators were found....
The story (according to Shaun) on the 5th was that his mom had booked dinner at a fancy restaurant for us. He bought me shoes and a jacket, because I 'needed new clothes' which he insisted I wear to this dinner......that we were having at 3:30 in the afternoon. We showered at the guesthouse and got dressed - both of us in new clothes. I wore the jacket and shoes, and Shaun wore a new waistcoat I had bought him for his birthday. His parents were picking us up.
When I was ready, I wanted to go to my mom's room (she was staying at the same guesthouse) because Shaun was taking forever to get done. He begged me not to go and said he wanted to ask me something. Eventually he put on his shirt and waistcoat, went down on one knee, produced a ring, and asked me to marry him.....
I didn't say yes, I just (stubbornly) held back the tears and hugged him. He asked again. I didn't respond. Then he asked if I was sure I wanted to marry him. I responded (rather irritably) that he knew what the answer was. Again he asked, and I gave the answer he wanted. His response was 'come with me'.
As we left to go to my mom's room I mumbled that I was not gonna tell them straight away that we were engaged. While walking down the passage, I saw that Shaun's dad's car was in the parking lot. I knew then...
When we walked up the stairs to mom's room, Shaun stamped his feet LOUDLY! 'They heard you Shaun' I said. We passed mom's room and went up some more stairs. As we approached the closed (frosted glass) doors of the function venue, I noticed a faint glow inside. Shaun opened the doors. "So Close" from the movie "Enchanted" played softly. I entered a candlelit room:
My dad and Tamlyn were in the room. That was not the first thing I saw though. The first thing I noticed upon entering was this:
I immediately left the room in tears. Instead of a wedding cake, there were 20 (Charly's Bakery) cupcakes in honour of Lester's birthday.
Shaun dragged me back inside. We stood close to my dad. Our families entered the room in procession: each member with a small bunch of flowers that they presented to us. The flowers created 2 beautiful bouquets that were placed on each side of our "altar". One to represent each family perhaps?
Shaun opened with song. He sang - with the help of Cindy-Ann (on guitar) and Robyn and Cindy-Ann (on backing vocals) - "God Bless the Broken Road" by Rascal Flatts. By this time I was crying more than when I went to watch the movie "Ghost" at the bioscope at Town Centre.
My very nervous dad did the ceremony beautifully and reverently. A traditional Anglican wedding - including the exchanging of the rings ceremony and ending with the lighting of our unity candle (and of course a kiss).
I love that Shaun had matching rings made!
Our first dance ("I Finally Found Someone" Barbra Streisand and Bryan Adams - sung by Cindy-Ann and Robyn)
Thereafter we had cupcakes and champagne, pics with the family, and then pics in the garden.
Dinner was an intimate affair (there were 16 of us). We went to an award-winning restaurant on the beachfront - they deserve every award they have won, the food was exquisite! Mammie (Shaun's mom) saw to the decor.
At one stage, Shaun told our guests that we would do this all on a larger scale again. We spoke about that when we went to bed that night and decided that our day was perfect. Neither of us wanted to do it again. At some stage, there will be a movie-se party though!
"I've waited 36 years, I want a BIG wedding". Yor, we say stupid things sometimes hey.
I still cannot believe he did all of this for me. It's almost 1am. I'm sitting in bed next to my husband (he's been asleep for hours already) just looking at him. I wish I could wake him now so he could read what I wrote. It will have to wait. Only one of us needs to go to work tomorrow morning.
A surprise wedding? Do you love someone enough to give them a surprise wedding?
Shaun loves me so much that he always saves his last rolo for me - even if he has the rolos somewhere else, he brings the last one home for me!
Only one more thing left to say: if I had known I was getting married, I would have worn a shirt...
You finished it?
Thanks Tamlyn for the awesome pics
