38 today

It's my 38th birthday today. The day is almost over, but I want to record my memories before I forget.

Shaun is away, and has been since January. I knew he'd be away for my birthday, so I made no official plans for the day - I just knew it would be terrible without him. It wasn't.

My birthday celebration started 4 days ago: Mommy (my mom-in-law) flew me to Kimberley for the weekend so that Shaun and I could spend some time together. We stayed with our cousins Morgan and Hannie, who welcomed us into their home and their hearts. They took me to The Big Hole and we played Uno Extreme (I MUST buy this game). Since I've lost 15kg (YAY), all my pants are too big, and Shaun decided to remedy this. He took me clothing shopping. We visited every clothing store in the mall, but I found nothing I wanted. I then started looking at silver bracelets - I bought one in Mauritius that I really liked, but it broke a few years ago. This was also unsuccesful. We continued browsing, until I realised what I really wanted - a silver cross. Our spiritual journey is becoming really important to us both, and I finally want a crucifix of my own. I chose a silver cross with a black stone in the centre, the arms of the cross are little fish with crystals, on a black chain.

Thank you Shaun.

I was up late last night (1am) marking. When I finally got to bed, I was so worried that I would only have 5 hours of sleep. When my alarm woke me after 5 hours I was not in a great mood, but then Shaun phoned a few minutes after I woke. I was barely finished speaking with him when Mommy and Daddy (in-law) called. By the time I ended the phone call, my inbox and Facebook were full of birthday wishes - and these just kept on coming.

I arrived at school later than usual. As I left my car and headed for the building, I saw Heloise (one of my colleagues) standing there. She had already been to my class to look for me, and continued her search. I was greeted and wished with coffee and a happy birthday video clip - and a very special hug.

While walking to my classroom, I heard "Happy Birthday Sir" echoing in the passages, and while I was unlocking my door the "Happy Birthday" song was sung. Throughout the day, kids stuck their heads into my room to wish me well.

I am a Home Room Tutor (register teacher) at my school. I unlocked my homeroom at 8am to take register, but there was only one child waiting for me. The two of us entered and started talking to each other - wondering if we had missed a memo of sorts. One more boy arrived. At about 8:06, I heard "Happy Birthday" coming down the passage. My homeroom kids made me a card and all of them wrote in it. They also had balloons that they had written messages on. It was 08:06.

My phone NEVER STOPPED vibrating all day - in fact, it just vibrated again...

Robyn (one of our daughters) came to visit at 10h30 - and she left at 19h00. She spent the entire day with me: observing quietly while I was teaching, and taking over Cabaret rehearsals when kids were not performing well. They are so scared of her! She left briefly, but I will explain why in a bit.

I had a good day at school. At 4pm, my Cabaret rehearsal started. Robyn returned at around 5pm with a box. When I opened it I knew that it was from Shaun (remember, he's in Kimberley). At the same time it arrived, he messaged me saying: "...everybody should get to eat cake on their birthday. It's a banting cake, by the way..."

I should have taken a pic BEFORE we started eating it.

After the rehearsal, I went back to my classroom to pack up my things and go home. As I was about to leave, Ronel (another colleague, and one of my friends for YEARS now) said she wanted to take me out for dinner. Ronel, her daughter Nobuhle and I went to Cavendish Square. When we got there, Nobuhle went straight to Simply Asia. I have known Nobuhle since Ronel was pregnant with her, and I can't deny her much: it had to be Simply Asia. Dinner was lovely, company was great, and it was a fitting end to a surprisingly beautiful birthday.

People have been sending me messages all day. I feel so loved and special. It is 11:09pm, and 2 more just came through. I want to end this blog with my 3 favourite messages of the day:

1. For those of you who have seen my tattoo, you will know how special this pic that Shaun sent me is:

2. Robyn (older daughter) and I never EVER get emotional about each other, or share our feelings with each other. When I read this post (during a Cabaret rehearsal nogal), I thanked God for the dark auditorium that prevented the kids from seeing my tears.

3. Cindy (younger daughter) followed with this - she was not going to be outdone by Robyn! I love these girls.

I am blessed! I wish I could continue writing and tell you about the messages my choir members sent me, wishes from Waterfront Theatre School graduates, or the phone call from Mamma en Pappa, the great rehearsal I had with the kids, dinner with Mel last night, chatting to Maria...

If there's one thing I was reminded of today, it is that I am LOVED! If wealth was measured on how much we love, or are loved, then I am an extremely wealthy man.

Thank you to everyone who helps to make my life beautiful.

I can't stop smiling - my last phone call (I think it'll be my last) of the day was from my brother George about five minutes ago...

bAnTiNg

Yes people, I am BANTING! I have always laughed at the banters and said I will never ever go there. It turns out I lied...

In the latter half of 2015, a parent of one of the girls at my school came to see me. The girl was leaving the school, and the father came to ask about musical activities and theatrical opportunities his daughter could participate in in the outside world. When he knocked on my door, I didn't recognise him. I noticed his daughter behind him and realised that this slim healthy looking man was the same one I had seen two years earlier at least thirty kilograms heavier. After helping him as much as I could, I asked how he had lost so much weight. His response was: I'll tell you, but you're not going to like it. Banting.

His was the second transformation I had seen in a very short time. I made a mental note that I had to check out this banting thing properly, but I forgot.

We go to Goudini with my in-laws every year during the December holidays. I do not like t-shirts, but I own a couple for times like our Goudini holiday. While at Goudini, I dug out some t-shirts that I had not worn in months. When I put them on, I realised for the first time in my life that I was one of those uncles whose tummy hangs out of the bottom of his t-shirt. I had never been that uncle before! When did I get that big, and how had I not noticed? Shaun responded in the most loving way (as usual) reminding me that I am beautiful. He then took me to the mall to get longer t-shirts so that I would feel comfortable while we were on holiday. When we got back to the chalet I took out his tablet, logged on to takealot.com and ordered the Tim Noakes banting book.

We came back to Cape Town on the second of January, and my book arrived on the fourth. I started reading and shopping, but knew I would have to wait until the eighth of January to start banting. My dad's birthday was on the 7th, and I was going to be at that party.

I started on January eighth, and the first twelve days were HELL! I had diarrhoea for ten days, had two fevers within that time, my mouth tasted like a rat had died in it, I was exhausted all the time and I had a headache that no tablet could soothe. I was so worried that this eating plan would kill me! I searched online for people who had had a similar experience, and everyone was just on about Oh I felt so amazing, My IBS completely disappeared, I have so much energy, My piles just vanished... I felt like the Grim Reaper himself was standing at my bed. My body went into shock on day 8 and I ended up in the emergency room! 

I searched through my friends on Facebook who were part of a banting group and found one (who looks amazing by the way). She was a student of mine once. I asked her about how the first week was for her, and she confirmed it was horrible. I then inboxed the Banting Support Group on Facebook; they replied within an hour telling me this was normal for some people. By this time Shaun was also saying Maybe this diet isn't for you. He was so worried, that he would not leave me alone for a second when I came home from school in the afternoon. The message from the support group was very encouraging, and I decided I would do fourteen days before I gave up on this diet that was obviously gonna kill me.

My tummy started to settle on Day eleven (but was still crappy for at least another week). The headaches stopped 'round day twelve, and my second fever went away by day nine. I still felt tired though, as I entered week three. From week three on....

Today is our one month anniversary: Banting and Jeremy. We had a rocky start, but right now I feel great. I realised in the last week or two that I'm not really tired during the day anymore, my IBS has almost completely disappeared (it improves daily), I sleep through the night, I don't sweat half as much as I used to, and I just feel happier. Still waiting for that feeling lighter on your feet sensation - can't wait to feel that. It feels like this will actually work for me, and I am super excited.

For those of you still laughing at us banters: I don't mind that you laugh, or that you think it is silly. I just have one request: please stop asking us whether we are going to eat like this for the rest of our lives, and commenting that it is way too much sacrifice. It is not easy to lose weight (I have been on diets since I was 10). It is not easy to get to the point where you believe that your health and your shattered self-image are worth the effort. 

Us fatties feel inferior to you guys all day and everyday. We walk in public everyday with our tummies pulled in hoping that nobody notices the sweat on our brow, our soiled shirts, or the funny way we walk because our legs are chaffing. We walk up the stairs, and when we get to the top we are out of breath, but we cannot let on because someone might call us lazy or idle. Once we have dressed, we look in the full length mirror a few times to make sure NO skin is sticking out - God forbid someone should see what we really look like under our clothes.

Asking me whether I am going to eat like this for the rest of my life is destructive. Losing weight is DIFFICULT. V E R Y   D I F F I C U L T. Giving up sugar has been very difficult for me. I don't miss the bread, potatoes and rice. I miss sweet coffee and tea, jelly babies, marshmallows, mebos, fruit... Saying no to sugar everyday is a challenge: when I make my coffee the sugar is right there, and for a month now I have not had any. I believe I can do this for the rest of my life, and you asking this question of me sows a seed of doubt. So please don't.

I'm going to continue banting. I want to be healthy for myself and for Shaun. I don't want to be shy when we go swimming. I don't want to be embarrassed because I feel I'm too fat to go skipping with him. I don't want to be too unfit to go dancing with him. I want us to do everything both of us ever wanted, so I cannot afford to be unhealthy or heavy on my feet. This is exciting, and I believe it's gonna work this time!

So how much weight have I lost in 31 days?
11kg