I'm coming out!!!

So for those of you who have been following my blog, it is apparent that I am undergoing a change right now. I have always been an optimist, but my optimism has just reached new heights. I remember when I was a teenager (who had a STRONG desire to be on the stage), I wanted to be the tragic hero(ine). Not only on the stage, but in my everyday life. Unfortunately optimism and living a life of tragedy do not go together. So what to do? I used to make myself unhappy so that people could relate to me. So that they could feel sorry for me and want to spend time with me. Oh the life of a fat teenager!

Then I got old! Now the things you do as a teenager stay with you! I started out as a tragic hero(ine), so to a certain extent I had to stay one. But I was a tad older, so it changed slightly. I was still an optimist (the soul does not change), but God forbid anyone should know that I was actually happy....So I tried wearing a mask of pessimism. That was a bit dark for me! I found a solution though: I could become CYNICAL!

CYNICISM: An attitude of scornful or jaded negativity, especially a general distrust of the integrity or professed motives of others....

www.thefreedictionary.com

Cynicism made me seem deep and artistic. I enjoyed being perceived as the Randal (from Idols) in my social groups. But that's not me.

Now recently, I have felt entitled to start showing the people around me what's inside my heart. For instance: I LOVE to dance. Before I wanted to learn to play the piano, I wanted to dance. I BEGGED and BEGGED my mommy, but there was no extra money in our household. So I became a social dancer. One who literally dances through life. I'm dancing again! With no shame and/or embarrassment for the dancers who I work with on a daily basis. I don't know WHAT THE FUCK I'm doing, but the other night I caught myself doing a Quickstep (solo) down the length of my road. It was AMAZING! I LOVE dancing!

It's not easy for me to show physical freedom. I will always (in my mind) be the fat boy I was growing up. I conditioned myself to fight the urge for at least 20 years. I'm not anymore.... Never again. Also - in my heart, I am a QUEEN DELUXE! And Madame Leslie (that was my professional drag name - yes I did drag professionaly) is coming out the closet.

On a more serious note. I am an OPTIMIST!!! I see the world through rose-coloured glasses. I believe that my country is the BEST FUCKEN PLACE IN THE WORLD TO LIVE! I love my job! 

I wanna start a group of optimists. What the fuck's wrong with being HAPPY! Will all the optimists in the room say YAY!!!