So I'm sitting in my office thinking about my week, and trying to figure out what the hell was "broken". There have been a few things. The most difficult thing to deal with this week was when one of my students told me she had quite a serious problem with her vocal chords. Now as a teacher, I jumped on the guilt wagon STRAIGHT AWAY! I am still doubting myself, and my approach to singing.... It's really difficult living up to my perceived "SUPERMAN" reputation when I'm doubting my method. It turns out that I had nothing to do with her problem after all..... But once the doubt is there.....
I have been told on two occasions that I am manipulative now. A student told me that 2 years ago and then a different student told me the same thing yesterday:
MANIPULATIVE: skillful in influencing or controlling others to your own advantage
wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn
So I will admit that I am skillful in influencing others. However, I do believe that I NEVER do it for my advantage. So it is quite hurtful when I get told that. I am in the habit of telling people (especially my students) EXACTLY how I feel about whatever situation we find ourselves in at the most difficult time. Now (unfortunately for them) I think before I speak, so I can justify everything I say! But I NEVER bend the truth to suit my own needs.... I usually tell them the most difficult truth, in the hope that they will do the right thing....
Yor, I'm deep this morning!
So nou sit ek hier langs 2 studente en ek warrie oor my reputation. Ek is bekommerd want my untarnished reputation het nou 'n kol op! FOK! Doubt is a terrible thing hey! And even though I know I had NOTHING to do with this situation, I still cannot stop myself from thinking: Is there ANYTHING I could have done differently!
Fluit, fluit my storie is uit....
I know that I know you in a different situation to the way your students know you as we were students together ourselves, but if I were to describe you in terms of your nature it would be encouraging and supportive. Never once did I see you as someone encouraging me to do something that would be to your advantage and not to mine.
ReplyDeleteAs to students: you win some, you lose some. I know that there are students who have not "clicked" with my style and I've learned to let them go with grace and the hope that they will find someone who "fits" with them. In fact, I've come to realize that the sooner I let them go onto another teacher the better for both of us!! But there are also the gems - the ones who you see blossom into singers that they never even dreamed they could be. Don't forget about those ones when the doubt comes calling!! You can't throw those ones away just because of two awkward situations that you have experienced.
Thanks Sarah! You're absolutely right.... I cannot be EVERYBODY'S teacher. Cannot wait to see you!!! YAY!!! Lotsa Love!
ReplyDelete