38 today

It's my 38th birthday today. The day is almost over, but I want to record my memories before I forget.

Shaun is away, and has been since January. I knew he'd be away for my birthday, so I made no official plans for the day - I just knew it would be terrible without him. It wasn't.

My birthday celebration started 4 days ago: Mommy (my mom-in-law) flew me to Kimberley for the weekend so that Shaun and I could spend some time together. We stayed with our cousins Morgan and Hannie, who welcomed us into their home and their hearts. They took me to The Big Hole and we played Uno Extreme (I MUST buy this game). Since I've lost 15kg (YAY), all my pants are too big, and Shaun decided to remedy this. He took me clothing shopping. We visited every clothing store in the mall, but I found nothing I wanted. I then started looking at silver bracelets - I bought one in Mauritius that I really liked, but it broke a few years ago. This was also unsuccesful. We continued browsing, until I realised what I really wanted - a silver cross. Our spiritual journey is becoming really important to us both, and I finally want a crucifix of my own. I chose a silver cross with a black stone in the centre, the arms of the cross are little fish with crystals, on a black chain.

Thank you Shaun.

I was up late last night (1am) marking. When I finally got to bed, I was so worried that I would only have 5 hours of sleep. When my alarm woke me after 5 hours I was not in a great mood, but then Shaun phoned a few minutes after I woke. I was barely finished speaking with him when Mommy and Daddy (in-law) called. By the time I ended the phone call, my inbox and Facebook were full of birthday wishes - and these just kept on coming.

I arrived at school later than usual. As I left my car and headed for the building, I saw Heloise (one of my colleagues) standing there. She had already been to my class to look for me, and continued her search. I was greeted and wished with coffee and a happy birthday video clip - and a very special hug.

While walking to my classroom, I heard "Happy Birthday Sir" echoing in the passages, and while I was unlocking my door the "Happy Birthday" song was sung. Throughout the day, kids stuck their heads into my room to wish me well.

I am a Home Room Tutor (register teacher) at my school. I unlocked my homeroom at 8am to take register, but there was only one child waiting for me. The two of us entered and started talking to each other - wondering if we had missed a memo of sorts. One more boy arrived. At about 8:06, I heard "Happy Birthday" coming down the passage. My homeroom kids made me a card and all of them wrote in it. They also had balloons that they had written messages on. It was 08:06.

My phone NEVER STOPPED vibrating all day - in fact, it just vibrated again...

Robyn (one of our daughters) came to visit at 10h30 - and she left at 19h00. She spent the entire day with me: observing quietly while I was teaching, and taking over Cabaret rehearsals when kids were not performing well. They are so scared of her! She left briefly, but I will explain why in a bit.

I had a good day at school. At 4pm, my Cabaret rehearsal started. Robyn returned at around 5pm with a box. When I opened it I knew that it was from Shaun (remember, he's in Kimberley). At the same time it arrived, he messaged me saying: "...everybody should get to eat cake on their birthday. It's a banting cake, by the way..."

I should have taken a pic BEFORE we started eating it.

After the rehearsal, I went back to my classroom to pack up my things and go home. As I was about to leave, Ronel (another colleague, and one of my friends for YEARS now) said she wanted to take me out for dinner. Ronel, her daughter Nobuhle and I went to Cavendish Square. When we got there, Nobuhle went straight to Simply Asia. I have known Nobuhle since Ronel was pregnant with her, and I can't deny her much: it had to be Simply Asia. Dinner was lovely, company was great, and it was a fitting end to a surprisingly beautiful birthday.

People have been sending me messages all day. I feel so loved and special. It is 11:09pm, and 2 more just came through. I want to end this blog with my 3 favourite messages of the day:

1. For those of you who have seen my tattoo, you will know how special this pic that Shaun sent me is:

2. Robyn (older daughter) and I never EVER get emotional about each other, or share our feelings with each other. When I read this post (during a Cabaret rehearsal nogal), I thanked God for the dark auditorium that prevented the kids from seeing my tears.

3. Cindy (younger daughter) followed with this - she was not going to be outdone by Robyn! I love these girls.

I am blessed! I wish I could continue writing and tell you about the messages my choir members sent me, wishes from Waterfront Theatre School graduates, or the phone call from Mamma en Pappa, the great rehearsal I had with the kids, dinner with Mel last night, chatting to Maria...

If there's one thing I was reminded of today, it is that I am LOVED! If wealth was measured on how much we love, or are loved, then I am an extremely wealthy man.

Thank you to everyone who helps to make my life beautiful.

I can't stop smiling - my last phone call (I think it'll be my last) of the day was from my brother George about five minutes ago...

Our Wedding Day

Shaun gave me a surprise wedding!

On Saturday 5th July, my brother Lester celebrated his 40th birthday in heaven. It's his 9th birthday without us already. It gets more and more difficult each year. But this was a big one, and I wanted to do something special on the day. I was booked for a gig, and took a few mins in my set to play a tribute to him. I made sure my parents attended the gig: I was going to ensure that we did not forget. Little did I know.....

It all started about a month or two ago, when my mom was admitted to hospital. We went to see her, and I was torn apart when I saw the condition she was in. The reality of our mortality REALLY affected me that day. That night I just fell apart emotionally. I couldn't stop thinking about how helpless she looked in hospital. Among many other things, I told Shaun that I wanted us to consider having a smaller wedding sooner. We had spoken to our parents about the possibility of a December 2015 wedding, and Shaun's mom had already started choosing the table settings. I told him that if something happened to my parents before we got married, I would never forgive myself. My mom got worse in hospital, and by the end of the week I was sick with worry.

That was when Shaun phoned his mother. He told her his wishes, and they started to make it happen. First thing was to ask for my parents' permission. He went to them, asked for permission to marry, and asked my dad to preside at the ceremony. My dad is a retired priest. He got their blessing, and my dad agreed. He also asked them if they thought it would be okay for us to get married on Lester's 40th birthday (I'm in tears again). They thought it would be an excellent idea.

Over the next month and a half, rings were made, restaurants and hotels were visited, a guesthouse function venue was booked, our brothers and their families were invited, decor was planned, co-conspirators were found....

The story (according to Shaun) on the 5th was that his mom had booked dinner at a fancy restaurant for us. He bought me shoes and a jacket, because I 'needed new clothes' which he insisted I wear to this dinner......that we were having at 3:30 in the afternoon. We showered at the guesthouse and got dressed - both of us in new clothes. I wore the jacket and shoes, and Shaun wore a new waistcoat I had bought him for his birthday. His parents were picking us up.

When I was ready, I wanted to go to my mom's room (she was staying at the same guesthouse) because Shaun was taking forever to get done. He begged me not to go and said he wanted to ask me something. Eventually he put on his shirt and waistcoat, went down on one knee, produced a ring, and asked me to marry him.....

I didn't say yes, I just (stubbornly) held back the tears and hugged him. He asked again. I didn't respond. Then he asked if I was sure I wanted to marry him. I responded (rather irritably) that he knew what the answer was. Again he asked, and I gave the answer he wanted. His response was 'come with me'.

As we left to go to my mom's room I mumbled that I was not gonna tell them straight away that we were engaged. While walking down the passage, I saw that Shaun's dad's car was in the parking lot. I knew then...

When we walked up the stairs to mom's room, Shaun stamped his feet LOUDLY! 'They heard you Shaun' I said. We passed mom's room and went up some more stairs. As we approached the closed (frosted glass) doors of the function venue, I noticed a faint glow inside. Shaun opened the doors. "So Close" from the movie "Enchanted" played softly. I entered a candlelit room:

My dad and Tamlyn were in the room. That was not the first thing I saw though. The first thing I noticed upon entering was this:

I immediately left the room in tears. Instead of a wedding cake, there were 20 (Charly's Bakery) cupcakes in honour of Lester's birthday. 

Shaun dragged me back inside. We stood close to my dad. Our families entered the room in procession: each member with a small bunch of flowers that they presented to us. The flowers created 2 beautiful bouquets that were placed on each side of our "altar". One to represent each family perhaps?

Shaun opened with song. He sang - with the help of Cindy-Ann (on guitar) and Robyn and Cindy-Ann (on backing vocals) - "God Bless the Broken Road" by Rascal Flatts. By this time I was crying more than when I went to watch the movie "Ghost" at the bioscope at Town Centre.

My very nervous dad did the ceremony beautifully and reverently. A traditional Anglican wedding - including the exchanging of the rings ceremony and ending with the lighting of our unity candle (and of course a kiss).

I love that Shaun had matching rings made!

Our first dance ("I Finally Found Someone" Barbra Streisand and Bryan Adams - sung by Cindy-Ann and Robyn)

Thereafter we had cupcakes and champagne, pics with the family, and then pics in the garden.

Dinner was an intimate affair (there were 16 of us). We went to an award-winning restaurant on the beachfront - they deserve every award they have won, the food was exquisite! Mammie (Shaun's mom) saw to the decor.

At one stage, Shaun told our guests that we would do this all on a larger scale again. We spoke about that when we went to bed that night and decided that our day was perfect. Neither of us wanted to do it again. At some stage, there will be a movie-se party though!

"I've waited 36 years, I want a BIG wedding". Yor, we say stupid things sometimes hey. 

I still cannot believe he did all of this for me. It's almost 1am. I'm sitting in bed next to my husband (he's been asleep for hours already) just looking at him. I wish I could wake him now so he could read what I wrote. It will have to wait. Only one of us needs to go to work tomorrow morning. 

A surprise wedding? Do you love someone enough to give them a surprise wedding? 

Shaun loves me so much that he always saves his last rolo for me - even if he has the rolos somewhere else, he brings the last one home for me!

Only one more thing left to say: if I had known I was getting married, I would have worn a shirt...

You finished it?

Thanks Tamlyn for the awesome pics

My Birthday

It was my birthday 3 days ago: I turned 34 on March the 8th. I was so depressed one week before my birthday - I missed Shaun! I had not seen him in two weeks... People usually laugh when I tell them that I am depressed because I miss Shaun. They don't get that I want to see him everyday... Anyway, I was depressed because I was missing him and I knew I wouldn't see him on my birthday. I don't think I have ever been depressed before this. Had no idea how horrible it felt to feel hopeless, sad, tired, lusteloos before. So on the 1st of March, Shaun told me he was coming to town for my birthday. He said he'd arrive on the last flight of the day on 8th March, we would have the last few hours together, and that he'd only go back home on Sunday night (today). He was going to surprise me, but because of my unhappiness he could not keep his secret anymore. My depression lifted later that night.....

As the week progressed, I got the idea that there was more to the surprise than what Shaun had told me. I did not pry at all, but kept my ears to the ground....

My birthday this year was the best I have ever had - all because of Shaun. When I arrived in my office at around 08h30 on Thursday morning, the floor was littered with white and pink balloons, there was a BEAUTIFUL bunch of giant roses (Shaun asked what my favourite flowers were), and a simple birthday card. I put down all my stuff, opened the card, read it, and called Shaun. He told me he was at work (in the Eastern Cape). Two minutes later, my office door opened and music started playing in the passage: Barbra Streisand's I've Dreamed of You. Now by this time I had figured out that Shaun was in Cape Town. However, when I arrived in my office and he wasn't there, I feared that I was sadly mistaken. Was disappointed, till I heard the song. I knew Shaun was in the passage, but stayed on the couch. After a few moments of Barbra's flawless voice, he walked into my office: How must I surprise you if you don't come out? I got up and wept in his embrace. I knew then that my day would be perfect. I was complete, and nothing that ANYBODY did thereafter could make it better than that very moment....

That was just the start. He spent the day with me in my office. That night we went home to shower before going out. I fished and figured we were going to Grand West Casino, but could not figure out what for. We dressed up and drove there. As I walked in, three very special ladies: Robyn Maree, Chloe Kiley and Rosanna Minchella greeted us at the door. I still had no clue, then one of them dropped the word Karaoke. I LOVE Karaoke. I figured that Shaun's plan was to take me out to ENJOY singing again for a change. I sing everyday, but it's not fun. I thought: Shaun really GETS me! We walked to the Karaoke bar, me in Heaven, again thinking this is as good as it gets. I was wrong. When I walked in, I saw some more guests he had invited: my mom, dad, brothers, sister-in-law and my eldest brother's girlfriend. (In my past life, birthdays were spent with either my ex or my family, they did NOT get along, and I was forced to choose.) My dad and brothers love Karaoke as much as I do. We used to go to the Lady Hamilton hotel together often to sing. It was like old times. A truly AMAZING day! And (by the way) I KICKED ASS at that Karaoke......

It was by far the best day I have ever had.....

Shaun was not finished though! He accompanied me to work on Friday again. That night we went home and dressed up again. He had bought (very expensive) tickets to go and see Fidelio. Fidelio (for those of you who do not know) is the only opera that the great Beethoven composed. The title role was sung by one of my friends from UCT Opera School, and the comic(ish) character by another one - we all had the same singing teacher. I have not been to see an opera in years: too expensive! Right now, I cannot afford it, and when I had the means, other things were always seen as more important. I LOVE OPERA!!!!!!!!!! I sat there (in the cold Cape Town wind) mesmerised. It was such an emotional journey. I rose and fell with the orchestra, cried with the singers, felt the pain and anguish in Beethoven's great composition. I'm getting emotional now just remembering it. GOOSEBUMPS!!!!

I often say that I hate surprises. It's not the truth. I have always LOVED surprises. You know what, after years of NOBODY bothering to make the effort to surprise you, you learn to fear them. I was disappointed birthday after birthday, Christmas after Christmas, over and over again. The worst was that I had made such an effort for my nearest and dearest, but it was never returned. My last surprise was when I turned 21, by my church choir at the time....

Shaun went back home today. I will miss him.

If you have never heard me say this, pay attention. I am in love with the most generous, caring, exciting, child-like, mature, crazy, sweet, smart, sexy, goofy, loving, full of bull... AMAZING man in the world. I have every intention of spending my life with him....

Thank you Shaun, you've made me believe again....